“By beautifying, we puff up our chests and feel sexy again,” she says. “When you met your partner, you were lively, charming, funny, exciting, attractive – it’s important to keep being the things they fell in love with.” This also means talking about something new, which, admittedly, is not easy after months under one roof.
Even so, we can refrain from dealing with domestic issues or children – and instead focus on flirting and eye contact. You could even get down to some talking points beforehand, suggests Vardag.
“When I’m most hopelessly feeling boring, I sometimes stop doing world service and write down random trivia,” she says. Otherwise, choose an excursion that stimulates conversation – such as an outdoor movie or a scenic hike. If your first post-lockdown date doesn’t spark the passion, try again the following week.
Research by the Marriage Foundation suggests that dating is a good habit. Benson says this is because prioritizing time as a couple confirms plans for life together. “Friendship is the fundamental characteristic of marriage, but it’s all too easy to take for granted unless there’s a little intention, a little effort to bond and enjoy each other’s company,” he says.
Vardag, who goes out with her husband every Friday, says it gives her something to look forward to and breaks up weeks that would otherwise merge. “We put the kids to bed and go out – no phones, no distractions, always somewhere else.” With hotels reopening on May 17th, now is the time to book a romantic getaway. The Bensons, who have been married for 35 years and have six children, spend at least one night each year as a couple, as a marriage inspection.
“After a near-failure divorce shortly after the birth of our first two, we realized we needed to be much more focused on our marriage,” says Harry. “It always takes a little planning, but no matter how grumpy we are when we set off, we already feel refreshed as best friends and reconnected when we arrive.”
Regardless of the form of your appointment, the physical interaction will ideally continue later under the sheets. “Make sure your date ends with more than one good night kiss,” says Vardag. “When out of habit, follow famous advice and just do it.” Who Said Romance Is Dead?
Date night is put to the test
My date with Christian: “It feels so intimate to sit across from each other … I get a little shy.”
by Anna Tyzack
Romance is the last thing I think about as I rush to prepare for our 5pm table (you have to take what you can get these days) and kiss Edgar, my seven month old baby goodbye. But when we ride our bikes to my parents’ house, I notice it all around us – in the unkempt hedges, the old oak trees, the church tower.
I realize that late afternoon is the perfect time to go out on a day when the birds are still singing but the sun will soon be over the yard. And this is a milestone: We left all four children with their grandparents for the first time and finally have an evening to ourselves.